Large round hay bale equals large round problem

I've already whined about the hay shortage. So you won't have to hear me whine all winter, I'm stocking up now on some decent Coastal Bermuda, which is what we grow around here.

Unfortunately, I don't really have room to store it all. Especially since, in my desperation last winter, I bought a large round bale of hay.

Now you may do just fine with large bales of hay. The one time I put one out for my horses, (and it was beautiful, fresh hay), Lucy couldn't stop eating. She ate until she had to lie down. She even groaned. The Big Turkey had all the symptoms of Too Much Thanksgiving Dinner Consumption, which in horse translates into: COLIC!

The vet came out, etc. Caught it early. Lucy lived to overeat another day.

Since I couldn't very well move the big bale of hay, I had to limit Lucy's time out with it.

Buddy was okay until the very end. Then, when they were eating the dregs, that's when he colicked. The vet came out, etc. Caught it early. Buddy lived to colic another day.

Last winter all I could get at one point was a $50 plus delivery bale of mediocre Coastal Bermuda. All I could get. So I had it delivered and put it in the back of the hay garage, with the idea that I would feed it in daily portions rather than leave the whole thing out.

A few days later Lucy greeted me at the gate. She had moldy breath. Uh oh. Breath that smelled like moldy hay. Uh oh. About this same time I found some $12/bale orchard grass, so that was the end of the round bale.

But it wasn't. It's still sitting there. It weighs 800 lbs. I cannot move it. It will not roll. It sits, slumped in the corner, occupying space where I could store good hay for the coming winter.

I advertised it for free on Craig's list, and had a taker who wanted to feed it to his goats. His truck broke down on the way and he never re-scheduled.

A neighbor said he'd like it for mulch, but just had surgery and can't use it. Another neighbor may want it but I'm not hopeful.

So, my husband, Pyro Paul, wants to drag it out using a chain and Ben, and burn it this weekend. Great. It's in the high 90s and we're going to start a fire in a drought.

Anybody want a free 800 lb. bale of hay? All you have to do is come get it. PLEASE!