Choosing a riding instructor for your daughter is more difficult than choosing one for yourself. If you pick out one for yourself who is a great teacher but curses like a sailor and "carries on," as my grandmother would say, with the farrier, etc., you are not likely to start cursing like a sailor and carrying on with the feed and seed man unless you were already so inclined.
Selecting a teacher for your daughter (or son -- there are so few boys who are interested that I hope you'll forgive me for frequently overlooking your young horseman) is more complicated. Our goal is to teach Lily to ride AND make sure that her teacher is a suitable mentor. After all, at some point I half expect Lily to have more faith in her riding teacher's judgment than mine in areas beyond riding because anybody who knows that much about horses just has to be right about everything, unlike Mom.
Lily, now 12, has had seven riding teachers, not counting the ones at camp. I'm startled to count them all up. We parted on good terms with all of them. One got a job with a lot of travel and couldn't teach lessons anymore, two got pregnant and dropped out, one went back to school and one was great but the other children in the class only rode once a week so, with Lily riding every day, they weren't learning at the same speed.
But everything worked for a while, and all the teachers taught her something. I am grateful to them all. Here's what I learned. For a very young child, private lessons on the lunge line on a very reliable horse are great for developing position and confidence. Your child should have good rapport with the instructor and really want to please her. Group lessons are fun and keep the child interested, but learning is slow because most children only ride once a week -- during the lesson. Lily rides six days a week.
Semi-private lessons with another child who rides her own horse and rides almost daily are the best for where she is right now. They can enjoy each other's company, learn from watching each other, have the slightest bit of peer pressure to do their best and get a small rest while the other child jumps the course, etc. Plus, it's slightly less expensive than private lessons.
Unfortunately, Lily's riding classmate also plays soccer, and as luck would have it, the soccer day is the same as the riding lesson day, so Lily's getting private lessons until soccer season is over.
I'm also very happy with this riding teacher's attitude, choice of words, professionalism and character.
I greatly loved a former teacher who used very colorful, non-profane language. "Kick the snot out of her!" she would yell, and Lily would get serious about urging her stubborn pony forward. The other teacher would call my horse a "heifer," etc. It made us laugh, and this teacher also had the ability to come up with games that helped a young child have fun while accidentally learning something.
Lily made the comment that her current teacher has never said to kick the snot out of anybody. "She just says, 'Squeeze with your legs.'" Sometimes, though, I do believe that kicking the snot out of your horse or pony is the only choice you have.
Lily has been with her current teacher for almost a year. The quality and apparent character of this teacher's other students reinforces my good opinion. She has a huge following of very nice, polite, dedicated teenaged riders who are good riders and seem to be good girls. Since I want Lily to be both, I feel like we have found the right person at the right time. The atmosphere at her barn is wholesome, too. People are friendly, the moms help whichever child needs help and everything is clean and orderly. People drink water and eat healthy snacks.
One mom I know left a barn because the other moms were into happy hour, which they brought in coolers in their Mercedes, while the children took lessons. That's all fine and dandy, but who's driving? Most people live 30 miles away.
There are very few times in your life you have complete control over who your daughter will look up to. Picking out a riding teacher is one of those times. So far, very lucky.
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