smellshorsey

The Walrus Took My Bucket

Yes, somebody stold my bucket at the horse show yesterday. I'll get to that in a minute.

The horse show yesterday was great but exhausting. I'll write more about it when I feel human again.

Short summary: Lily kept her season's lead in one jumping division and slid a little in other rankings. I think there was more competition there than usual. I thought she did great. She overcame some of the problems she has been having, she jumped one really awesome round (and got only fourth -- I must not know what I'm looking for. I still told her it was her best round ever). Buddy only bucked once right in front of the judge, he lapped everyone at the canter in the flat class but did not get out of control, and at no point were they excused, disqualified nor did Lily have to ask if she could sit out the class in the center of the ring. In other words, they made an awful lot of progress and she has so much to be proud of. She came home with four or five ribbons and had a good time. If they keep improving at this rate, the world will be very happy around here. More later. Or maybe that was enough.

But yesterday, like most horse show days, I felt like the lolrus. If you don't know what a lolrus is, thank you. I just found out last week and have been laughing ever since. A lolrus is like a lolcat, and if you don't know what a lolcat is either, thank you. I thought I was the last to know. I just found out last week and am now addicted.

You can read The Complete Walrus Bucket Saga here. (The star walrus/seal died last week, which I'm sure won't stop his search for his bucket.) If this link doesn't first make sense, read this first.

You've probably seen lolcats. I've had them e-mailed to me. Some were immediately funny. Some I didn't get at all. Now that I have been to I Can Has Cheezburger, I Get It! And I think it is Extremely Funny. (It took a while for me to follow what was going on. Click around and you'll figure it out.)

Anyway, back to the horseshow. No, even farther back than that. Let's go back to when Lily joined Pony Club.

Pony Club is a great organization and I wish that Lily could participate fully. The monthly meetings are sometimes a couple of hours from here (you have to trailer your horse to meetings) and the rallies even farther (geographically -- and they take a weekend). The meetings are sometimes too hard to get to for a Sunday afternoon but very valuable if you can make it. I hope one day she can be an active member again. 

Pony Club teaches children (and their parents) how to do things Exactly Right. This requires that you have All the Equipment. For one of Lily's first meetings, they sent a list of the things she needed to bring. Included on this list were FOUR buckets.

Four buckets for one pony? I'd kept two horses here for several years with two buckets. And I suddenly needed four buckets to take one pony to one meeting? What the heck. It's just a couple of buckets, though when you go about needing to have double of what you already have horses can get expensive. So I went to one of my local feed stores to buy two more buckets. I ran into a man there having to buy a lot more stuff for his daughter to take to the Pony Club meeting, which was probably easier for him since he was a bank president.

I picked out pretty blue buckets, very much like the one the lolrus had. We wrote Lily's name on the buckets along with the initials for her Pony Club chapter. Too bad the lolrus didn't have fingers and a paint pen -- he would have had a much better chance of hanging onto his bucket.

For the record, I don't know why Lily needed four buckets. I figure one was for food and one was for water. That's reasonable. She said one of the other buckets was to keep water in in case there was a fire, so she and the other children could keep the barn from burning down. I find this alarming. A 9-year-old armed with a bucket is not a firefighter. I'm not sure anyone knows what the fourth bucket was for. Maybe the lolrus.

These two new blue buckets are our favorites. And it seems that everyone else loves them, too. Because every time I go somewhere and take one of these buckets, somebody takes it.

It has her name written on it. About three inches high. But somebody always takes the bucket.

Mind you, they are not stealing it. Though it is full of water and parked within Buddy's reach as he waits for his classes at horse shows, somebody always thinks it is their bucket. We do a bucket search and rescue at every outing. If Lily's name weren't on it, we would have lost it long ago.

It disappeared TWICE yesterday. So that meant that twice during the show Lily and I were fanning out across the show grounds looking for a blue bucket.

Lolrus, I feel your pain! I has bucket! Somebody taked my bucket!

Lily found it the first time, several trailers over. She dumped the water out of it and brought it back. Whoever had it probably thinks somebody stold their bucket.

The second time it went missing, I found myself following a woman I slightly know as she carried a blue bucket across the show grounds. It's always awkward accosting someone over your bucket. You feel small, petty and suspicious. "Excuse me, is that my bucket? Excuse me, I think you have accidentally stolen my bucket."

You gots mai bucket. I wants it now.

Turns out is was HER bucket. Oops.

Next time I buy buckets, which at the rate these keep disappearing may be soon, they will be a color no one wants. Not a pretty blue. They will be the most ghastly, garish buckets I can find.

We found the bucket. It had gotten mixed up with a riding school's batch of buckets. I didn't leave it out for Buddy anymore. I hid my bucket.

Mai bucket. Keep hans off.

Breyer horse ride still coming!

Update: This week Lily had her lesson here instead of at the barn where the Breyer horse is and where I'm going to take my little ride. I think it will be next week before I get to ride.

I'll see the Breyer horse owner tomorrow at the show. (Breyer horse is retired and won't be there.) I hope to get more of the story plus set up an exact date for my little experience.

I just bought the Breyer model on e-bay. I think I'll get it autographed. How silly can I get?

I'm also trying to get the local paper to let me write up the story on this model horse, but haven't gotten a commitment yet. (Or a rejection.)

But let me drop some more hints: she is one of two of her breed made by Breyer, according to their web site. The other one is a small model.

The horse show is tomorrow. Buddy is probably out there rolling all the clean off of him. I let Lily do all of the tack cleaning, horse cleaning, boot polishing and mane pulling. It's a combination of laziness on my part justified by a belief that children should do all they can by themselves. Now. If I could only get her in bed.

The Coggins and the Oreos are in the car. Now I need to go charge my camera battery. And recharge my own batteries. It will be a long day.

Wish us luck, or at least, that Buddy and Lily will have fun and do their best, and that everyone will be safe and have a great time.

Stupid things I have done with horses

Here are a few of the Stupid things I have done with horses:

• Tied up a horse by the bridle (have done this more than once and bought more than one new bridle, showing what a fast learner I am).
• Failed to notice the difference in height between a Thoroughbred and a Shetland pony. I put the TB, who I had in on trial, in the stall where I normally kept the Shetland pony. In the next stall was a garbage can containing sweet feed. It didn't register with me that the TB could reach over the partition, pull the lid off of the garbage can, and eat the level of sweet feed down as far as she could reach. It was very embarrassing to have to tell the owner that I would need a few more days to try the horse as I had, um, had to have her stomach pumped this morning and was waiting to see if she would founder.... (she didn't).
• Gone for a ride in a pasture full of happy horses. My horse got really happy, too, and I ended up walking back, even carrying the bridle....(and dragging my pride).
• Foxhunted horses I have never seen before.
• More developing and more to come....

Here are a few of the Stupid things I have NOT done with horses:

• Cannot presently think of any....

Horses love to mess with your head

From my office window, I get a good view of the pasture. It's a great view -- unless you're a worrier.

I am a worrier.

When they gallop around, I have to go find out why. When they look droopy, I have to go find out why. If they roll once, I watch to be sure it is just for itches. (They could use less watching and I could use more working.)

So, here it is a few days before the "big show," and Buddy walks into my line of sight -- limping badly. Dead lame.

I watch in horror. I feel every organ inside me scrunch up. I feel panic and fear. Oh no! Is he hurt? Has he developed something? Will he be sound by Saturday? Will this break Lily's heart and cost me piles of money? Is he officially a pasture ornament?

I watch, transfixed. After those three lame steps, he stops to eat. And eats for a while. I watch, unable to move. I need to see some more steps. But he keeps eating. Finally, he walks off.

He is perfectly fine. He's been fine all day.

If I didn't know better, I'd think he did that on purpose because he knew that was right where I could see him best. "Hey, Lucy! Watch this -- I'm going to take three lame steps and take ten years off her life."

There was probably just a stick or rock or something on the ground that he was having to step over.  He's full of mischief, but he's not THAT smart.

Feed store wisdom

The man who recently bought one of the local feed stores is a tad on the hefty side. He worries me when I see him unload hay, grain or any other kind of exertion. He's a heart attack waiting to happen. I'm not good at guessing weight, but the number 300 comes to mind.

One day he looked at me and said, "I know that people think I need to lose weight."

I made one of those neutral noises that I hoped didn't sound like I thought he was fat, but that indicated I was listening all the same.

"What people don't understand," he said, "is underneath, I'm really one of those 800 pound men you see on TV. It takes all I can do to stay this small."

Falling off horses

If you ride a horse, you will fall off. This may lead me to buy shorter horses, as the ground is truly getting harder.

Lily had a whole riding lesson devoted to falling off. Or "emergency dismounts" as they were called. It looked like the riding teacher pushing her off to me.

I've never had an emergency dismount lesson. I tried an emergency dismount once and it was a disaster. I was in a bareback jumping class and had just completed the eight jumps. Everything was fine, until it wasn't. The horse I was riding at that time was crazy, and he decided to take off. He was fine while jumping. I don't know what happened in his little crazy head, but he got faster and faster. And he was truly fast -- he was supposed to be a polo pony, but was too crazy so they sold him to a 15-year-old.  Anyway, I had this bad feeling that he was going to jump out of the ring, so I decided to bail out. I put my arms around his neck and tried to sling myself off, but I didn't let go, so I ended up under his neck, right in front of his pounding hooves. I realized I had no choice here, so I let go, expecting death. He rolled me and spectators said that he stepped on my head. I do not believe this, as I would have noticed. To this day I am surprised that nothing bad happened. They quit having the bareback jumping class at that show after that. Sorry that I ruined it for everybody, guys.

The potentially worst fall I ever had was when my wonderfully reliable hunter mare slipped and fell in wet footing after a jump. First her front end went down, which pitched me onto the ground. I believe in rolling when you fall, so I rolled away -- and a good thing, too. After her front end went down, she flipped and her hindquarters landed where I had been. I would have been crushed if I hadn't rolled. She got up. I got up. She was shaking. I was shaking. But we were both all right. So, being a teenager, I got on and kept jumping.

What's your worst fall? Has it changed anything about how you ride or how you think about riding?

What are you thinking about in that moment when you are in the air? For me, it's a letting go. "I might die here. I'm in your hands, God. It's really all okay, but please don't let me be paralyzed."

Getting ready for the horse show

This weekend we're going to the third in a series of Open Shows. This is Lily's first time chasing points, but I don't think that's all that's fueling her excitement. It's a fun, informal show where the competitors encourage each other and the judge will take the time to help a child who isn't fully understanding something. In other words, it's not The Big Time, but it is A Big Time.

Last time we went Buddy was so "overjoyed" to be there that I had to get on him in the warm-up. But he settled in and they ended up doing very well.

Lily spent the weekend grooming him. She gave him a bath on Saturday, Showsheened him and walked him around until he was dry. So of course the minute she let him go, he rolled. We're hoping the Showsheen acts like teflon.

I didn't realize until this morning just how detailed her planning is for the show. Here's the dry-erase board in her room (click to make big enough to see):

There is one little thing that really touched me. Last night we watched the movie, "Facing the Giants," which is a little cheesy and amateurish, but was still very touching and inspirational. I didn't realize how close she was paying attention. Look at what she wrote on the very top of this horse show planning chart (click to make big enough to see) :

If you haven't seen the movie, one of the themes is that it's not about winning, it's about giving God your absolute best in everything you undertake. You praise God if you win, you praise God if you lose. But whichever way it goes, you give it your absolute best.

I can't think of a better way to prepare your mind and spirit for a competition. Maybe keeping horses is worth it after all....

Riding a Breyer Horse

Ah! So you want to know which Breyer horse I'll be riding? Well, that would just ruin everything to tell you. This equine has won championships in dressage, halter, western and hunter, just to name a few. She's retired now and living a life of leisure. Not sure which day next week it will be -- but I can't wait.

How my horses got into fiction

I keep wanting to blog about a really funny incident that happened with a Shetland pony my father bought for my nephew. The pony got his nose stuck in a box....and then....

But I've already written this episode and countless others, into my fiction. The overall story is fiction -- I made it up -- but some of the components are my real horses.

So, for today's post, I'm going to link to the story that has the pony-with-the-nose-in-the-box episode in it. The story is strange in a number of ways. First, it was supposed to be a story about a controlling grandmother who bought her granddaughter a pony so the family couldn't move away without great heartache to the granddaughter. (This I made up.) But the grandmother never made it into the story. The original concept did have a saddle in it. A western pony saddle.

And there's another unusual twist to the story. It is about a mother, daughter and father living in the country with horses. Sounds like my real life now. Except, when I wrote the story, I wasn't even pregnant.And we lived in the suburbs and I boarded my TB dressage/eventing horse elsewhere. My real horse was very much afraid of pigs and that part is real. And one thing that has always bothered me about the story, which I always intended to fix, is that the dressage exercises go in the wrong order. I tell you that so you know that I know better. I would tell more, but it would spoil the story.

If you've got a few minutes and like literary fiction, visit "Riding Past the Pigs" here or here. (Click on "Riding Past the Pigs".

Let me know what you think! I'm feeling very exposed here.

Coming attraction: Next week I get to ride a Breyer horse

There are some things you want to do before you die, and one of the things on my list is to ride a Breyer horse. Not the toy, but the real-life model for the toy. Or perhaps I should call it a collectible. (We treat them like toys in our house.) There's a real-live Breyer horse model not far from here, at the barn where I haul Buddy and Lily for lessons. I asked the owner yesterday if I could ride her "Breyer Horse," and she said yes. Next week.

The horse is retired now. Should be just my speed.

In fact, she's going to let me do a whole story about her, her horse and her experiences at Breyer Fest in the Kentucky Horse Park, etc. Wouldn't that just be about the coolest thing to have your horse made into a model, and have people stand in line for you to sign it?

Stay tuned. There will be pictures.