Not My Job

Lily's still trying to figure out how to keep Buddy clean for the horse trials this coming Saturday. Thanks to all of you for your good suggestions and commiseration.

Horses are pigs trapped in horse skins. (I think it was photogchic who said that -- thanks!)

I ordered a book from Amazon in a weak moment (I have lots of those, usually involving chocolate) and it came in last week. It's The Horse Show Mom's Survival Guide by Susan Daniels. Of course Lily picked it up, noticed the pictures of the horse show mom stepping and fetching and grooming and serving. Lily looked at me and you could see the lightbulb go off. "Hey, Mom! You're supposed to be doing all that stuff at horse shows that I've been doing."

In your dreams.

You see, I'm the kind of horse show mom who makes the kid do the work. Oh, not all the work. If the horse is acting up (and it's legal to do so), I'll get on and have some words with him. I'll lead the horse around the grounds if he's excited and has grown a hand or two taller. I'll help get tacked up, will pin on her number and will wipe the dust off of her boots (and I've been known to carry water), but, just like I've already passed seventh-grade math and don't need to do seventh-grade math homework, I don't need any practice at getting a horse ready for a show -- or doing the work when I get there. (Though I will be responsible for food and drinks -- Lily has a nut allergy so we bring our own vittles.) And I will serve as coach, cheerleader, paparazzi, chauffeur  and banker. That seems like enough without  adding "groom" to my job description.

There's a child we sometimes show with whose mother does it all. And the child, who is old enough to tend to herself and her horse, fusses at the mother for not doing it right. The mother frets because the child isn't going to be ready for the class on time, the child isn't dressed, the horse isn't tacked up. The child talks back. It's an ugly sight. It's really hard not to slap both of them, but I might have to stand in line.

Back to the book. It's actually filled with lots of useful advice and information, including how to have tactful conversations with your trainer and the issue of some people having more expensive horses -- and some people having less.

I haven't checked to see if there's a chapter on worry. If there's not, I can write that. It's hard to put your child on a large, powerful animal with a brain the size of a cat's, and let go. If a horse show mom's job description included "horse mind control," I'd be all over that.

Comments

[I Gallop On]

Good post! I wouldn't serve as the groom either. Although my kids calls me a "fiddler", because I have to re-check and re-do and apparently "fiddle" with some of their tacking up. Especially if we're heading up the trail.

In equestrian vaulting, the vaulters are responsible for getting the horse ready and taking care of him afterwards. Most kids can't wait to get their hands on that horse. Although I've observed a few prima donnas and princesses over the years who still wrinkle their noses and squeal ewwwwww! whenever the poor horse goes to the bathroom. I truly wonder what they're doing there. And most of those never last too long anyway.

Don't have much patience for the princesses. ;-)

Pax. Kimberly

[Shelly]

As a kid, my dad's rules always were if you can't get on him by yourself you can't ride, which later turned into if you can't saddle him you can't ride. Of course he would always double check everything (usually I didn't have the strength to tighten the cinch like it needed to be) but the point was that I did everything myself, and it never crossed my mind as a kid to expect either of my parents to do it for me. I was the one wanting to ride and do events not my parents pushing me towards it.

[Transylvanianhorseman]

Hmm, large, powerful animal with a brain the size of a cat's, it's amazing that we can trust our horses to take care of us (with a bit of discipline, anyway). But we can. What a wonderful partnership.

[Jackie]

As a now-adult once-11-or-12-year-old kid whose trainer-mother made me do everything myself, I can say that I completely appreciate it! I was 11 when I rode in my first show and I had to bathe my own horse, clean my own tack, polish my own boots, and do all of my own show braids. I felt so accomplished! When it comes to horses I'm a strong believer in doing it yourself ... build lots of character. I may have to check out that book though for the someday when I'm a show mom myself ...