Some Professional Advice on "To Breed or Not to Breed?"

Thanks for all your comments on "To Breed or Not to Breed?" Breeding a nice mare to a nice stallion and wanting to keep the offspring (assuming said offspring lives, etc.) in spite of what Fugly says has many benefits, ranging from just plain fun to learning about life to, as MiKael pointed out, being allowed to follow your dream. Is there anything more important than that?

So, I called my niece, the horse vet, for professional advice on what to do next and her opinion on the whole project. If I was hoping for an endorsement, perhaps I should have called someone else.

"Oh, Anne! You DON'T want to do that," she said. Her passionate, unequivocally negative response surprised me.

"I don't?" I said, shocked and disappointed.

"Absolutely not. I've seen so many bad horses that were raised by mother-daughter owners. Some of the worst horses I deal with.  Not that you and Lily would necessarily ruin the horse, maybe if you had good professional help you wouldn't, but horses raised as pets in the yard usually don't understand that they are horses," she said. "If it's a male you could geld it and cut off some of those problems, but you'd still have to discipline yourselves to treating it like a horse."

Now, she loves me and knows me. On the plus side, this reaction means she thinks that I'm basically a kind (pushover) person whose existing horses are pets but were, fortunately, raised by someone else. So I'm not insulted even if I am shocked. I do indulge my animals, husband and daughter. And myself. (I'm working on denying myself chocolate.)

But I'd never thought about this pitfall before. "You'd need to treat the foal like a horse, treat it like its mother treats it. Train it and ignore it," she said. But it's so cute! How could we do that? I guess that's her point.

So I said, "What if we got professional help and didn't ruin the horse?" So we talked about who could help us, how it should be done, the perils of pregnancy and birth and the heartbreak that can happen. We talked about the expense and the stallions under consideration.

She said, "I don't think you or Lily could handle it if something went wrong. Bad wrong." She's the one I called when the hamster needed to be euthanized. She's the one who's seen us at our crazy worst with our pets. She has a point. But we're several dead cats and hamsters under the bridge, so to speak. And isn't this part of the learning process about following your dreams? That sometimes bad things happen and you have to take a detour, redirect, redream and try again another way? So I got her to go along with that.

But then we got to the thing that's probably going to stop me. Lily is 13. If we breed Lucy tomorrow and she foals next year, Lily will be 19 before she can start jumping the foal and really using him/her.

Sure, at 19 Lily could still be riding like a fiend and could somehow win enough scholarships to afford to go to college AND take a horse. But there's so much important in life that needs attention at that age. School, college decisions, boys, a social life. Will she still be my horse-loving girl? And if not.....? I guess we could sell the horse. But this isn't part of this dream.

Lily and I discussed the timing of all this, the foal's age and development and while she believes she will be riding and competing at Rolex in the near future -- and I hope she will but think her schedule is too optimistic by a decade or more and is certainly out of our budget -- she understood that she her goals and the foal's maturation rate don't coincide. Yes, she can be riding and training the baby before it's five, but she can't really be asking for hard physical  work.

More thinking to come, but that's today's state of mind.

She hasn't done all that Buddy can do. Or Lucy, either. I think I'm going to get her to sit down with one of her former trainers who competed at Radnor with an affordable QH and understands dreams and finances. Maybe if we set goals for this year, and next year, etc. Lily is a talented, dedicated rider, but doesn't know quite as much as she thinks she does.

This is tough and I don't want her life lesson about horses to be that it's all about the money. I want it to be that if your dream is big enough, you'll find a way.

Comments

[Grey Horse Matters]

Your vet makes a lot of valid points to consider. Unfortunately, life's lessons shouldn't be about the money, but sometimes they are. College is expensive and taking a horse is more expensive. If their ages won't exactly coincide for showing it may not be a good idea. There is nothing wrong with getting an affordable QH, the best horse we ever owned was a Paint/QH, that my daughter won every year end award on for many years. Nowadays every one seems to be looking for the ribbon or recognition, and while that is nice too, true horsemanship should be about how well you and your horse work together and having the horse do the best they can with what they have. Sometimes taking a horse like that up the levels is more rewarding. Good luck with your decision, it's a tough one.

[risingrainbow]

It's true there are a lot of questions, things that can change as time goes on. I'm glad that you're really thinking about how all of those will fit into the picture so you can make an informed decision.

I'd also like to say that it is possible to have horses as pets and still have them be well behaved and mannered horses. That's what we do here. We love them enough to give them the skills to be good citizens as well as good friends. We spend lots of time with them loving on them and teaching them those skills at the same time.

That's why I do imprinting and lots of in hand work with my babies. The sooner it gets started, and of course, keeping it consistent, the better the horse gets the picture and will be a "good" horse.

You may still need to learn some of those skills to teach a foal, but if a foal is part of the dream learning what you need will be part of it as well.

I totally agree with you the dream doesn't have to be about money. If you work hard enough you can achieve it.

[risingrainbow]

It's true there are a lot of questions, things that can change as time goes on. I'm glad that you're really thinking about how all of those will fit into the picture so you can make an informed decision.

I'd also like to say that it is possible to have horses as pets and still have them be well behaved and mannered horses. That's what we do here. We love them enough to give them the skills to be good citizens as well as good friends. We spend lots of time with them loving on them and teaching them those skills at the same time.

That's why I do imprinting and lots of in hand work with my babies. The sooner it gets started, and of course, keeping it consistent, the better the horse gets the picture and will be a "good" horse.

You may still need to learn some of those skills to teach a foal, but if a foal is part of the dream learning what you need will be part of it as well.

I totally agree with you the dream doesn't have to be about money. If you work hard enough you can achieve it.

[Callie]

Anne, What about adopting a weanling? There are so many unwanted, perfectly good horses out there on the market. My friend bought a nicely papered quarter horse filly weanling for $10.00 last autumn. There are lots of decent horses out there that she could grow with. My free weanling I tried to save from slaughter in '06, twisted a gut 5 days after I got her and inspite of my and the vets efforts, she died in my arms. That free filly cost me $800 and it was an aweful experience, just aweful. Good Luck with this decision.

[Strawberry Lane]

So glad to finally be back. And I see I've arrived just in time to read about some major decisions.

Good luck. Any direction you go won't be an easy decision.

As wonderful as a perfect experience would be, I'm a worrier and a what-if'r. It's during those times that I grab hold of my motto: "When in doubt ... don't".

As for horses being horses and not pets, now, those rules I've completely broken.
Royal is definitely my pet.

However, he knows to respect my space, behave, and no funny stuff. But I was the same way with my kids ... so he's just part of the group.

Good luck on your decision. Will cheer you on which ever way you go.

[Transylvanianhorseman]

My thoughts would be that:
- If you breed the mare, she will be off work for a year.
- The foal will be four years growing and consuming money before you can ride him.
- Even if you do everything right and produce a nicely behaved young horse, he may not be the right horse for Lily.

Overall, it's probably a whole lot more reliable to go out and try to buy the right horse at the right time.