Time to Change Horses

We've been wrestling with a tough decision here for a few weeks. No, longer than that. It's been about three months. Lily's horse, Buddy, has decided that jumping is for other horses, dogs and kangaroos, not for him.

Lily says it's not fun anymore. He doesn't want to jump (though he jumps gloriously here at home). She wants to jump. She keeps trying to jump him at Pony Club and other farms. And he has become dead set against it.

I don't know how we got here and don't want to go into all the things we've tried and failed. All I know is that it's not working. It could be our fault. But we are where we are -- and it's time to move on.

Her trainer and I have suggested to Lily that we get her another horse.

There's been much weeping, and I'm not far from it myself. I can't tell you how many times we've had the following conversation:

"Mom, have you ever known a horse with as much personality as Buddy?" she asked between sobs.

"No," I confessed.

"Mom, have you ever known a horse as affectionate as Buddy?" she asked.

"Well, the others get pretty affectionate if you have food," I tried.

"You know Buddy doesn't need food to love us," she said. True, but it helps.

"I never want to sell him," she said. "I love him, and he does everything great but jumping."

"But jumping is what you want to do," I said.

"Nobody has as good a personality as Buddy," she retorted.

"You don't ride on the personality," I said.

Things changed last week. I took Buddy and her teacher's horse off to school at another farm. Buddy was absolutely fabulous. He stood quietly at the trailer while we tacked him up. He was calm and interested in his new surroundings, but stayed quiet and perfect.  He warmed up and looked like a million bucks. Then, when it was time to jump, he quit. Nothing doing. No jumping.

This horse has been evented a few times and never once had a refusal. He's gone in shows and never had a refusal. But he has decided that he isn't jumping -- and we're not going to make him.

We tried. I won't go into everything, but we tried. He has made a decision. No jumping except at home. And that's not good enough.

The thing that was different last week is that Lily's smart teacher brought her own horse, Ollie, and after Buddy had disappointed Lily, her teacher said to get on Ollie. Lily jumped Ollie over several courses. And we asked, "Did you have fun?"

"Yes. But I have fun on Buddy when I take him trail riding and do flat work and go places with him. I just can't jump him," she said.

"What if you got a horse that did all the things that you love to do with Buddy, and that horse jumped, too? In fact, you could take that horse places and jump -- not just at home," we said.

Lily was as dead set against replacing Buddy as Buddy is dead set against jumping.

The instructor sent Lily off to jump some more on Ollie. And this time it seemed to register what she was missing. Riding horses and jumping is her very favorite thing to do.

So we've made a heart-breaking decision. We're going to sell our precious Buddy and get a horse that wants Buddy's job. Lily will fall in love again.

The multi-talented but non-jumping Buddy will get a good home (we'll see to that). And he won't miss us nearly as much as we're going to miss him.

Comments

[Katie]

Oh dear! That really is such a hard decision! I'm praying for both of you. Keep us posted.

[Mrs Mom]

Wishing you guys- and Buddy too of course!- the best of luck with things working out as they should for everyone.

Keep us posted!!

[kathyc]

Oh, my heart breaks with you as well. Nicole had to give up her favorite horse of all time because she refused to do barrels. Sierra ran barrels, and ran barrels well at home, but not at events.

Many many hugs to you both as you work through this hard decision.

[Mumnah]

We recently retired horse #1 (27 yr old mare) and my daughter is working with new-to-her horse #2 (young, male, energetic). Not an easy change for the young rider. Although both horses seem pretty happy.

[Horseypants]

I hope this transition goes as smoothly as possible for you both. It just sounds like the right thing to do. Lily may find more to appreciate in a new horse, but that doesn't make Buddy less special. These days it's also easier than ever to keep in touch...for all we know, Buddy could end up with this own myspace page. I'm not kidding--my sister's dog has one.