smellshorsey

How to Treat Yourself When You're "In Foal"

Lily turned 13 this past weekend, and I'd write a post about that if I could quit crying. I spent most of my life not wanting children because they looked like a lot of trouble to me (the side effect of becoming an aunt in third grade). But then, I realized I was wrong. Not to get into TMI here, but I had two miscarriages before I got pregnant with Lily. When I got pregnant with her, I was not only hyper-vigilante, I was also afraid to hope.

This meant that I didn't do one forbidden thing during my pregnancy. Not one sip of wine, etc. I also didn't do things that weren't forbidden, just in case. And I was afraid to fully invest in my pregnancy. I delayed buying maternity clothes. I delayed buying baby things. I delayed breathing. I held my breath. And waited to get to a "safe" place on the calendar.

When my ob. gave me news of a developing complication, I was already at my limit of worry. I had a choice: sink into despair, or get mad. So I got mad. I went out and bought baby clothes. One of those dresses I will keep forever because when I bought that dress I was saying, "No! I've had it! I WILL HAVE THIS BABY!" I do believe that something inside me changed. I started breathing again. And I reached out my hands to life and said, "Yes, yes, yes!"

I was still cautious and so focused on my swelling belly that I ignored myself, except for the parts where I ate right, didn't ride (just to be on the safe side), etc. What I wish I had done was gone out and bought some great maternity clothes for me. Not the temporary, get-by-with-this-for-work sensible things I got. But clothes that celebrated my condition and coming joy. Something like this great dress from Due Maternity, or maternity jeans.

And, once Lily was born, I would have made a little more space for myself, too. Part of that was unrealistic expectations. I actually thought that Lily would be asleep in the crib and that I could carry the baby monitor with me while I rode. That never happened, but what should have happened was for me to hire a sitter or get Paul to help me find time for myself. (I was working full-time as the director of PR for one of the largest agencies in the state, which didn't give a lot of time.) Maybe my recollections are as foggy as my expectations were, but it seems like I should have done more for me. It would have made me a better, less worried mother. (It couldn't have made me more worried.)

Perhaps it would have kept me from selling my fabulous horse. And my trailer.

The truly awesome thing is how my girl is here, alive and well. Just turned 13 and with every kind of horse ambition you can have. Every year is more fun than the last. I am so very blessed.

Still Vehicle Hunting

Paul sold his Passat over the weekend. He thought he had a Dodge Durango lined up for purchase, but it got away. Fortunately, we still have Ben, our '84 Suburban (Sub-urb-BEN), so we each have something to drive, especially if you like to spend a lot for gas. This morning Paul took my Prius because he needed to go more places than I do. I'll be riding in style in Ben today, up high above the world. At least Ben's easy to find in the parking lot since he takes up half of it. That is one giant vehicle, especially if you're used to a Prius.

We haven't thought about leasing a car or truck because we tend to buy them and keep driving them until they are completely worn out. And then we drive them some more. But for some people, leasing might be the right option.

One thing that's off-putting about leases is that it's hard to know when you're comparing apples to apples, or not. Fortunately, there's a web site that gives you unbiased help in evaluating your car lease with this Lease Tool. ShrewdLease.com is the independent automobile lease evaluator. They'll help you sort through the details that can trip you up, such as delivery charges, rebates and unexpected charges.

What you do is enter the information about the lease into ShrewdLease's evaluation tool. Their analysis will point out the advantages and disadvantages of the lease under consideration, and provide you with a point-by-point explanation of the benefits and pitfalls. They'll also give your lease a numerical rating, indicating whether it's overall a shrewd choice or something you might want to think twice about.

You can evaluate several leases to see which is the best for you. The best thing for me would be their inclusion of the things I wouldn't think to ask about, especially since I've never leased a car before. You can also use their leasing tool to check for accuracy in the advertised lease information. With this kind of help, you'll be in a much better position to make a smart choice when it comes to leasing -- or not leasing -- your next vehicle.

A Shower for Do-It-Yourselfers

We have two categories of home- and barn-improvement projects around here. Those we did ourselves and those we're going to do ourselves. I don't know whether we're cheap, hopelessly optimistic or take pride in a job half-done. Probably all of these. (Truthfully, I'm astonished at how well some things have turned out. We have one room we did ourselves that came out so beautifully that we call it The Museum and nobody's allowed to go in there. We painted harlequins on the wall. It was far harder than it looks. If you buy a ticket, I'll show it to you.)

One of those DIY projects was to be a real bathroom in the barn. Right now we sort of have a bathroom in the barn. It's called a "stall." The real bathroom was to be a simple thing. A sink. A toilet. A door. Running water and soap.

But now that Lily and her friends are out there every day, I've had enough of mud, mud and more mud coming into the house. It can't be stopped and there's an endless supply. So when we do get around to putting our bathroom in the barn, it may well include a shower, such as these too-pretty-for-the-barn Shower Cubicles. You can order online securely. In stock items are shipped by 2:00 p.m. They also have shower accessories.

Our barn isn't fancy, but wouldn't this self-contained unit be great in a nice barn or the house?  And as a experienced DIY-er, it looks very do-able, too.

Horses Never Worry if Their Butts Are Too Big

Buddy and Lucy never worry about whether or not their butts are too big. In fact, they are dedicated to making them as big as possible. They don't even mind getting photographed from behind.

I have to admit a certain fascination with plastic surgery. We sometimes watch the procedures on TV. While I won't be signing up for a  Breast Enlargement (web site displays mature content), there are still some things that call my name, especially as I get older. If it were magic instead of plastic surgery, then we'd have something. A flat stomach that looks great in white dressage pants? Sure! And the magic wand fixes it. There are costs, risks and downtime with any surgery. An old friend from high school came to dinner last night. The subject came up and she said, "You know, it's about 50/50 with people our age as to whether they've had something done or not." Then she proceeded to tell me who'd had what done. My interest in this is way too high to be respectable.

I hate to confess it, but I like to read about other people having things done, and I'm so grateful that I'm a nearly invisible freelance writer and blogger living in the country where I don't have to be perfect. (It's a good thing, too.) Why does Victoria Beckham need liposuction? You can read about other celebrities and people I've never heard of who've had plastic surgery at this same web site. It's kind of like eating chocolate without the calories.

For now, I think I'll let Buddy and Lucy be my body image guides. As long as all the parts still work, we're all fine.

People Who Fool with Horses Need Insurance

When I was just out of graduate school and had my first real job, I declined health and life insurance that my company offered because "I don't get sick." Fortunately, that was true and I also didn't get hit by a truck or take a bad fall from a horse.

This was the same stage of my life that when I took my new kitten to the vet and the kitten died, I was astonished that I was expected to pay. (And I paid.)

Ah me. Foolish, if over-educated, youth. Now I know better. You have to pay to live.

I wish I still had some of that attitude. There's no reason to be stupid and not have adequate insurance, but I wish once I had taken all the precautions (insurance, hard-hat, boots, parachute, etc.) that I could just ride off into the sunset with all the confidence I had when I was young and stupid. No, I've just remembered some of the things I did. Age and wisdom are earned, because if you don't get some wisdom, you will not age.

If you're a California resident, you may be interested in getting a California health insurance quote. They represent several insurance companies and can help you sort through your options for California Small Business Health Insurance and even get a California group health insurance quote.

Horses are fun but the ground is hard and gravity is a force to be reckoned with.

Camouflage Military Clothing May Help You Catch a Hard-to-Catch Horse

How do you catch a hard-to-catch horse? Sometimes rattling a food bucket works. Around here, mentally visualizing a food bucket works for Buddy.

Lucy, on the other hand, can sometimes be hard to catch. Then she gets to run around while I chase her until she decides okay, okay, I'd rather be caught than do all this work of running away.

But what if I got camouflage military clothing and snuck up on her? Can you see me, slinking from tree-to-tree like Robin Williams in "Survivors," dressed in camo and after my horse?

Lucy would be so busy laughing and pointing I'd have her caught in a second.

I'm actually supposed to tell you about how the site linked above has great military clothing. I hope if you buy any you're entitled. Kind of scary, huh? There are military clothing stores outside the gates of Ft. Jackson so I know they're probably okay, but I'd hate to have any unauthorized personnel out there trying to catch my horse. (Or board my airplane.) Their raincoats actually look like they'd be good for horse people.

Furniture for When You're Not Living in the Barn

Sometimes it's too dark to ride. Or rainy. Or cold. Sometimes, let's face it, you have to come into the house. But your house isn't clean. It doesn't smell like hay and shavings. Only the clothes hamper smells like horses. Home is not the barn.

Perhaps you should acknowledge your need for, you know, people furniture. Maybe that new flatscreen TV you got for Christmas would look better (and be more stable) if it weren't perched on your old tack trunk. Maybe your vet bills won't be too high this month and you can shop for home entertainment furniture.

If you do it online, you'll have more time to spend at the barn. Then, this summer, when the Olympics come on, you'll really be able to enjoy watching the horses. Until then, think how handy a new entertainment center will be for displaying trophies, ribbons and pictures of your horses.

One Reason to Move to England

This is my favorite joke, which is probably not PC but what joke is?

Q.: Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

A.: The other one wanted to drive for a while.

This post is not about riding, other than the fact that I ride English. I used to be a serious Anglophile. I never missed Masterpiece Theatre and I went to England every chance I got, which wasn't all that often, though some of my fondest memories are of these trips. I was even an English major. That was convenient because I already spoke the language, though with an accent.

My mother-in-law is from England. Since she seems to plan on staying here in the U.S., maybe I should make a strategic move to England. If I did, I would need to get, among other things, a new car. Or a new used car.

One good place to start looking would be http://www.netcars.co.uk/, an easy-to-use website that covers a lot of the things you need for car ownership, from car loans, to car insurance, to used cars you can buy. And, in case the immigration people didn't like my jokes and I was deported back to the icy embrace of my mother-in-law, I could even use NetCars to sell my car I bought from them.They've also got a database where you can search to find out if the car you are buying has a checkered past.

Who Gets Better Care, Your Horse or Your Dog?

I'd guess that most horse owners have a dog. And while I love my dog and he loves me more than any horse ever will (sad but true), he just doesn't get the same good service Buddy and Lucy get.

He doesn't even like his food. He was a stray, and he likes things you find on the side of the highway. I really hate feeding him because at feeding time I come outside with his food and he's all excited and licking his lips. I put the dog food down. He looks at it, gives me his saddest dog look, and leaves! Sometimes I mix cat food in with it, but that's not enough.

He's holding out for something better. If Buddy and Lucy turned their noses up at supper, I'd be calling the vet.

Poor Parker doesn't even get full use of his dog bed. Tiger the cat sprawls out in it with him, and Parker is shoved to the side. Parker is about four times the size of Tiger, but not in personality or persistence.

If he's lucky, I'll get him a bigger, better, fluffier, orthopedic dog bed from http://www.mammothoutlet.com.  They've got a huge selection of vet-recommended dog beds, especially of big beds. Parker's getting older, and I know a sweet dog like him deserves a comfortable place and enough room to get a good night (or day's) sleep. Even if he does sleep with a giant cat who's a bed hog.

We could all use more sleep. Maybe then he wouldn't bark at the horses and neighbors so much.

A Horse is a Black Hole in the Pasture into Which You Pour Money

This is a paid post. If you have horses, I'm sure you understand. I keep pretending like you can economically keep horses. And I guess you can, if you live in Romania and use them for transportation and your livelihood. I think we do a good job of keeping expenses low but the truth is, ouch!

It's still worth it to us because a childhood/teenhood spent on horseback is a gift for life. Horses are a source of joy, build confidence and teach important lessons -- and while they suck all the spare time out of a girl's life so she's less likely to get into trouble, they also suck all the extra income (plus) out of her parents' bank accounts.

There's always MORE MORE MORE that would be nice to have. Right now Lily is dreaming about competing for the Maclay. (Note: She's never been to an "A" show.) I try to balance her dreams (it is possible) with reality (not likely but still possible). She's read up on what you have to jump, etc. She thought she had a real selling point last night.

"Dad, if I win the Maclay, I'll win $150,000." This was supposed to persuade him to buy a new truck and trailer and drive her right up there to pick up the check.

"Lily, do you have any idea how much the horses that compete at that level cost?" he said. So then she decides that we'll breed Lucy to somebody fancy and get a fancier horse that way and then she can go.

I hate to tell you, but the people who owned Lucy's mother, a successful racehorse, thought the same thing, too, when they bred Lucy's mom to Known Fact, a horse that was the most successful racehorse in England one year and the first of the Arab-owned horses to win big. Lucy's nice and all that. But she's mostly a smart, lazy, easy-keeping yard ornament (who is currently lame). No guarantee on anything no matter who we bred her too.

Anyway. The hot topic around our house is the need for a more reliable truck and trailer. Ben (our truck) is great, but Ben could qualify for antique license plates. I'll haul her and Buddy places, but in the back of my mind I'm making sure I know how to walk home.

It's tempting to think about loans and to go out and get a truck and trailer that would give us the freedom to go all over the state (and beyond) to shows, events and trail rides. Lily is growing up and in a few years this opportunity will have passed. We could even do it as a home equity loan or look into mortgages.

And there are times in life, such as when we were starting Paul's business, that a loan made all the difference. Credit can be a good thing -- or it can destroy you. But when a loan is the right way to go, it's nice to know you have access to money through services to help you get cheap loans.

Right now, we're not about to go into debt to get a truck and trailer. We can usually pay a hauling fee to someone who's also going to the show -- a much cheaper alternative than to spend that kind of money on something we'd use for a day once a month. And in the meantime, I'm enjoying getting great mileage on my almost-zippy little Prius.  Just glad it doesn't burn hay.