smellshorsey

One Trendy Style Horse People Can't Wear

It's hard to be a horse person and to dress stylishly. For one thing, all the money for style goes to buy horse blankets to replace the ones that the horse thoughtlessly and gleefully shredded. And then there's the horse food. And the riding lessons.

There's also little reason to spend good money on any clothes that don't look good covered in green slobber. Or clothes that can't stand up to a good bleaching.

But then there's another obstacle for horse people who want to dress fashionably: the fashions themselves. I do believe that I would start to crib if forced to wear these cute (I guess) capris from Ann Taylor.
Is it just me? I see these pants -- I feel the ties brushing on my legs. FLIES!

I cannot and will not wear clothes that feel like I have flies crawling on my legs. Because most of the time, I do have flies crawling on my legs, and I'm constantly stomping and slapping at them.

I have a bathing suit cover-up with fringe on the bottom. One of those island print thingies. Very cute. Had to give it away. Fringe on bottom = FLIES on legs.

My TB mare, Lucy, has the same problem. I put a fly sheet on her last summer. Although she wears a blanket all winter with no problem, she was convinced that the lightweight mesh fluttering around her was FLIES. It made her crazier than before. So, since Buddy's fly sheet had arrived missing pieces (I eventually ended up getting a credit for it but haven't shopped at that particular Internet horse store again), I just let him have hers. Which he tore up.

The flies are bad already. I know I'm a little late, but I'm starting the horses on feed-through fly control, I'm hanging fly traps (pew!) under the eaves of the barn away from the horse end, and I have (probably foolishly) ordered new fly sheets that cover from ears to tail. And then I found these cool fly leg wraps and have ordered them, too. Last year's fly masks are in usable condition, so at least I didn't have to get that.

Of course, we're running through fly spray like crazy. And we need to figure out why the fans in the barn aren't working.

But wear fashionable clothes that have ties that feel like flies brushing my legs? Forget waterboarding -- that would be torture!

Am I the Only One Who's Never Heard of a "Numnah"?

We don't normally watch the National Spelling Bee, but we caught a few minutes of it last night and I'm glad to say we caught this very, very funny moment when one boy was asked to spell "numnah," which is a pad used between the saddle and the horse. I have never heard of a numnah, but after watching this, I won't forget it. (We use a variety of pads, but no numnahs.)

Watch this video -- precious!

Beware of Scams When Selling Your Horse

If you haven't already invested in that Nigerian scheme guaranteed to make you lots of money, you might want to be aware of the various scams afoot where somehow, instead of selling your horse, you end up getting scammed out of your money.

I got a breathless offer by e-mail from a potential buyer who really wanted Buddy and needed to buy him right away. Unlike the other breathless offers, which were mostly from teenaged girls without a shift key on their computers, this one was from a guy named John who supposedly lived in New York and had it all worked out.

There were so many red flags in this message that I don't know how he would ever fool anyone, but apparently there are people out there being fooled.

My vet said that she had a client who had fallen for just such a scheme. Her client wanted to sell her horse, here was a buyer with money, and, all starry eyed, they went through with all the arrangements. When the vet showed up to give all the horses their spring shots, the client said not to do one horse -- he had been sold. Later the vet had to go back and give this horse shots because the truck did not come to pick him up, as promised. I don't know more than that.

But I do know that John from New York was all set to scam me. In his first e-mail, he said that he wanted to buy Buddy to use for his polo, rodeo and breeding operations and would send me the money through PayPal and then his shipper would come get Buddy.

Since I'd gotten a number of sort of stupid inquiries, I thought that this one might just be the stupidest and wasn't aware right away that it was a scam. I wrote back that Buddy would not be suitable for polo or rodeo, and that as a gelding, didn't have much to contribute to a breeding operation.

I thought that was the end of it. But John wrote back right away. Buddy would have a wonderful life with lots of room in what I think was meant to mean pastures but was some odd word my husband said was a term for soccer fields. The "animal doctor" comes to the farm daily (must not be a safe or healthy place if it requires daily visits from the "animal doctor"). There was some hooey about trainers and competition and breeding. John was effusive, but John didn't know squat about horses. 

Still, he was ready to send me the money and if only I would provide some personal information his shipper would be contacting me. I reported him as a scammer to the online sales site.

Let all sellers beware. 

Advertising a Horse for Sale the Government Way

As I continue to talk potential buyers out of even looking at Buddy, I decided to run a free ad for him in my state's agricultural bulletin, a bi-monthly tabloid where you can sell your goats, chickens, $25,000 Hanoverians, manure, broken tractors, beehives, bulbs and implements I wouldn't know what to do with.

I submitted the ad online, which was a pain because of the character count limitation, but I got the ad whittled down to where it was accepted. Then I faxed them Buddy's Coggins. All set.

Except I wasn't. I got a call from the state person saying that the age on the Coggins was nine, and the age in my ad was 11. I said that I could fax her Buddy's registration papers, and she'd see that he was 11. She said I needed to get my Coggins report changed, since it is regarded as a legal document. I said I wasn't trying to claim he was younger than he was -- I was claiming he was older than the Coggins and have the documentation. The vet simply wrote his age down wrong (no doubt based on his handsome, youthful appearance.)

We went round and round on this. My vet is out of business and I don't want to add to her burdens by getting her involved. I finally suggested, "Why don't you just leave the age out of the ad? They can see how old he is when they click on the web site."

"I've had to delete your web address. We're not allowed to run those," she said.

"But it's got all his information on it!"

"Sorry, but if we ran yours, we'd have to run everybody's," she said.

"Why don't you run everybody's?" I asked.

"The dog people wouldn't understand," she said. "We run their ads as a courtesy, space permitting, and they are always upset that we give more information out about horses."

So, I'm running an ad with no age on this horse and no information that he has a web site where you can see photos, videos, pedigree, everything. But it gets worse.

"Let me read you what I've got," she says. And she proceeds to read a watered down version of what I sent her. She has whittled it down to basically "chestnut gelding, broke to ride, more or less." (Not really but may as well be.)

"What happened to 'great ground manners,'?" I ask.

"We can't say 'great.'"

"Can you say 'good'?"

"Yes. I'll say he has good ground manners," she says. "How about clips, loads and ties? That's always a good one."

"I think all of those except loading are included in ground manners," I say.

"How about 'great youth horse'?" I say.

"I told you we couldn't say 'great,'" she reminds me. So she puts just plain "youth horse."

"Can you give him a bath?" she asks, trying to be helpful.

"Of course I can give him a bath. But he does so much more than that I hate to waste the space on giving him a bath," I say.

"Stands for the farrier?" she suggests.

"He'd better stand for the farrier if he knows what's good for him. Standing for the farrier is a minimum requirement and is included in 'good ground manners,'" I say. "How about 'flashy chestnut gelding'?"

"Can't say 'flashy.'"

I give up. "Beautiful?"

"No."

"Handsome?"

"No."

"Looks like Elvis?"

Silence. Then she suggests, "What about his bloodlines?"

Now I'm on my cell phone, and I can only vaguely remember the names of his sire and dam. Is his sire Ohio Bett or Bett Ohio? And was his QH grandsire on the other side Skipping Lightly? Skip Lightly? Sounds kind of gay. Skip Light Lee? It's something like that. But I make a guess and she happily adds it to my ad.

Then I get home and look it up. I have everything a little scrambled on his bloodlines. I e-mail her the corrections, and she tells me she's made them. Scary, huh?

If his dam's name was "Beautiful Morning" would they change that to "Adequate Morning?"

We do not need the government in charge of one more thing.

Buying and Selling Horses

I finally got Buddy's web site put together and have listed him on two horse classified sites. The phone has started ringing. And I'm looking for a horse for Lily.

Which are the best horse classified sites? Where should I be listing him?

I thought to link to his site here, but I've got my phone numbers and all that other personal info. on the site and I'm trying to maintain some kind of privacy with this blog. If you're interested in an 11-year-old Apx. QH/TB gelding that does English and Western and is the sweetest horse you've ever seen, leave me a comment and I'll contact you and send you the info. and web site link.

I don't really want to sell Buddy. That's like selling your dog. And Lily is even worse about selling him. A teenager at the little show we went to last weekend found out Buddy was for sale and was dying to buy him. Lily didn't think she was good enough for Buddy and I almost had to lock my daughter in the trailer because you just can't say those kinds of things to a prospective buyer. Or to a stranger. Or really, to anybody. (She was only saying them to me about the girl but I was afraid she would be overheard.)

The teenager rode him and the funniest thing happened. When she asked Buddy to trot, he started limping. He'd just done three jumping classes and several flat classes. He wasn't anywhere close to lame. I stood there in wonderment. Lily said, "See? He doesn't like her either. He's faking so they won't like him."

After about eight lame steps he returned to normal, but Lily is convinced (and I'm wondering myself) if this wasn't a protest. Fortunately, the girl's father already has four horses and though the girl's instructor and the girl loved Buddy, we haven't heard a thing.

Then somebody else who'd seen him at the show asked us to bring him to their farm for a woman I know slightly to try. So that's what I did last Sunday. Lily rode Buddy first so that the woman, who has had several bad experiences with her own horse in the past year and has lost confidence, could see that Buddy is a fun, reasonable guy. Lily then took him out in the field and jumped a bunch of log jumps. Buddy was a saint.

Then the woman, whom I'll call Rebecca, got on Buddy. They did great. I could tell that something was bothering Rebecca, though. She wasn't in love. I told her she could take Buddy on a trail ride with her friends, which she did. Buddy wanted to get in the front but she had no trouble keeping him back. He didn't have a problem when other horses rode his rear-end. He didn't mind the cows. He tried to tippy toe around the water but he was still okay. And he didn't have any problems with odd objects or the activities of people on nearby property.

Rebecca and her friends reported that Buddy had been great and that they really liked him. BUT....

When Rebecca and I were away from everyone she confided in me. "You know I've had my horse, "Wifebeater" (name is made up), for many years. I don't think I'm ready to get another horse," she said. "Even if I'm afraid to ride Wifebeater."

She is a really kind and sensitive woman who takes excellent care of her horses. I wish she would buy Buddy. He would have a great forever home. And he would treat her better than Wifebeater has.

"I can't imagine going into the pasture to catch another horse while Wifebeater looked on," she continued. "It would break my heart to see his face."

My heart was beginning to break. I wanted her to buy Buddy.

"I really haven't resolved my issues with Wifebeater," she said. "I had a horse communicator out to help." She made it plain that she didn't really believe in horse communicators, but still, she had paid one to come out.

"The horse communicator talked to Wifebeater. It didn't help with the problems we've been having. But Wifebeater did say it was all right if I got another horse -- so long as it wasn't another male horse," she said.

So Buiddy was perfect but the wrong gender to suit her old horse? I wish I had thought to say, "What do you care what Wifebeater thinks? He's treated you terribly. You deserve a nice horse who'll be nice to you." But I didn't think to say anything because my thinking apparatus had frozen up.

Too Cold to Ride

I know that I'm going to provoke a hail of snowballs for this post, but it's too cold to ride. It's almost too cold to feed the horses, but I know that Buddy would come inside and get me so I put on everything I own and go feed him and Lucy.

We're having to keep the beet pulp and alfalfa cubes inside the house to soak because they freeze at the barn. The horses have on every blanket they own. Tonight may be a record cold temperature. I've got all the faucets dripping and the pets with paws inside. (Pets with hooves, so sorry, you're not housebroken.)

Yes, yes, I'm in S.C. and we've had such a mild winter that I haven't taken my T-shirts and lightweight pants out of the closet (or found my long underwear). But that changed this week. And I don't like it.

In this kind of weather, I don't go to horse events. Usually I would just not ride, stay home, feel sorry for the folks who sent in their $185 entry fees and $165 stabling fees to whatever event will go on no matter what so they'll go to it no matter what. Usually I would be smug, warm and just a little bit grouchy about having to lever the layer of ice off of the water trough.

But not this weekend. Sunday is Rating Day for Pony Club, and since there won't be another rating day (probably) until after the rally season is over, we are going. Lily was rated a couple of years ago and very much needs to be re-rated if she's going to participate in Pony Club.

But it's too cold! Lily's never owned long underwear, so we went to the store today to get her some. Turns out there's a real shortage of them -- so many people are going to the Obama inauguration that they've cleaned out the department stores of all long underwear. Fortunately, we found a small set for Lily. She would be mortified if anyone knew she was wearing something called "CuddleDudds." And she's refusing to wear a warm hat because ... well, she's 13 and knows everything.

And I'm a wimp about cold weather. Saturday night it's supposed to be 8 degrees, then get up to 50 before it starts to snow or rain or sleet or whatever. And then freeze again.

To you folks out there who are really having cold weather, I'm so sorry. The thing is, at least you know what you're doing. I've got a 13 year old who has no use for a hat. When there's a chance of snow here, everyone goes to the grocery store and empties the shelves of bread and milk. That's all we know how to do.

Why bread and milk? I have no idea. When my power goes off from the snow taking down the power lines, the last thing I want is bread and milk. But that's what you buy, so I guess I'll be going out in the cold tomorrow to get my bread and milk.

I already loaded up on the horse feed, alfalfa cubes and beet pulp. It's still in the car. Buddy would be glad to know where my priorities lie.

Stay warm!

Hot Air Balloons and Horses

They're having a hot air balloon and equestrian festival in Aiken, S.C. What will be next? Plastic grocery bags and horses festival?

My horses would think that hot air balloons were Giant Breathing Plastic Grocery Bags of Death. We would find out just exactly how fast and how far our horses could go. We'd no doubt beat the balloons to their destination.

And they've got fireworks, too! Yahoo!

Look at a portion of the schedule, below. Can you imagine warming up for dressage while the balloons are taking off?

Festivities begin on Friday September 19th with barrel racing at 4:00 PM, jumping exhibition at 5:00 PM, Kids Balloon run at 6:00 PM, Special Shape balloons and tether balloon rides at 7:00 PM, Fireworks display at 8:00 PM.

On Saturday September 20th the balloons will take off at 6:30 AM, dressage exhibition at 7:30 AM, hunting exhibition at 9:00 AM.

But I just might go watch the goings on. Perverse, I know. Beyond the disconnect between horse behavior and hot air balloons, it sounds like fun. Here's the link.

Equine Encephalitis Alert

There have been two cases of Equine Encephalitis in Richland County, South Carolina, in the past month. If you live in an area where this is a risk for your horses, be sure that they are up-to-date on their vaccinations.

This information is from a local horse vet. They're trying to get out the news without stirring up alarm.

Shut Down by Lightning

Lightning will strike twice and I'm here to prove it. I haven't been posting or visiting lately because I haven't had Internet access. The first time it struck and knocked out my modem. We have cable Internet, so I had to wait for the repair guy to come out this way. That took a few days. The modem was partially damaged but he connected me a different way and I was back online.

Then, on July Fourth, God put on a tremendous fireworks show with a great blessing of rain and enough lightning to power the U.S. if only we could capture and control that energy. This time the lightning struck us more than once and knocked out our telephone, Internet and cable TV. It took days and days to get a repair, and it's not quite right yet (so I get to wait for the repairman all day Friday). It fried the cable connections down by the street as well as the one leading into our house. We heard it when it hit. Yee ha! That'll get your attention.

But I'm back. And as I type this, I see another storm coming. Our Thunder Hound, who is afraid of lightning, has already stood on his hind legs to look in the window to tell us, "Let me in!" And he's in, probably trembling by my daughter's feet downstairs.

The grass is green and life feels good. One of my hay suppliers has already had a first cutting (which he saves for cows). Soon, surely I'll be getting 2008 hay. When it rains every day the grass grows -- but the farmers can't cut. As long as the grass is growing I'll sit here happy.

And my tadpoles are getting really big. No legs yet. They look like little black shiny whales.

So I'm back -- for now.

Man Jumps off Horse and Drowns

I'm a worrier, and of all the things I worry about with horses, drowning has not been on my list. A man jumped off of a horse and drowned yesterday. Here's the sad but strange story from The State:

MAN DROWNS AFTER JUMP FROM HORSE

MYRTLE BEACH -- A 24-year-old Conway man who trained racehorses drowned after he jumped off a horse and into a pond, according to a preliminary autopsy.

Jonathan Durant, who worked at Nobles stable on Rogers Road, died at 10:24 a.m. Monday after the horse he was riding stepped into a pond on the property, said Horry County Deputy Coroner Tony Hendrick. He said Tuesday that Durant may have panicked once he was in the water after he jumped from the horse.

It's unclear why Durant jumped into the water, whether he could swim or why he could not get out of the pond, which was about eight to 10 feet deep, officials said.

He was pronounced dead on arrival at Conway Medical Center.

"There's nothing suspicious about it. It was accidental," Hendrick said.

"I just am not sure why he was unable to get out of the water."

Officials are waiting for toxicology results, which will take up to 12 weeks, Hendrick said.

Durant trained and rode horses for the Nobles Stables, owned by Bonnie and Leneau Nobles, according to his older brother Corey Durant.

"I couldn't believe that it was him. I went to the hospital. I saw him on the table, looking out of it. And I couldn't take it anymore, I had to leave. It seems like a dream to me," Corey Durant said.

"All he would say was he loved when he galloped and the speed to the finish line," Corey Durant said.

"We always stuck by each other. He was always pushing me to be stronger. I've been through a lot of trouble. He always came to me and said 'chill out' and 'do better.' He was almost a big brother, more than I was to him," said Corey Durant, 28.

Corey Durant will have to celebrate his birthday on Friday without his younger brother. The two had plans to go to the beach.

His mother, Virginia Durant Washington, said Jonathan Durant loved horses as a child, and that he started riding seriously after he graduated from high school.

"Ever since he was small he wanted to be a jockey. He said, 'Mama, I love to ride horses,'" she said.

Jonathan Durant's second cousin Denise Santoro shared his passion for horses. She used to compete in jumping horses over hurdles and dressage.

"He was so excited to tell me, 'Cuz, cuz, I'm a jock,'" she said. "We all have to die. At least he died doing what he loved."

-- The (Myrtle Beach) Sun News