smellshorsey

How to Measure Success at a Horse Show or Competition

How do you measure success at a horse show or competition? Everybody wants the blue ribbon. But if you didn't win it, does that mean you lost?

And if you did win it, does that mean you won?

We're trying to take the focus off of ribbons. Some reasons for this are practical. Buddy is the cutest thing on four hooves but he's not fancy. He's nice, even handsome to my eyes, but not fancy. He's extra cute, too, when you get to know him. When competing with fancy, cute doesn't win unless fancy screws up. Fancy does sometimes screw up and cute sometimes performs spectacularly, but you can't count on it. So, unless we win the lottery, Lily will be competing on cute, handsome, unpredictable and full-of-yahoo Buddy. She has won some blues on him, including at his first horse trial last December. They work hard. But so do lots of other kids and horses.

So, how do you measure success other than by ribbons? Several ways. First, set goals for the competition. What's one thing you or your child have been working on, some special challenge? For Lily and Buddy, who went to their second horse trials last weekend (and competed two levels up from what they did last December), the goal was for Buddy to have a good experience and for Lily to have fun. Translation: no refusals and no taking off bucking. And an accurate dressage test for good measure.

I was proud of Lily for her preparations. We'll only foot the bill for one riding lesson a week and she'd had her one lesson last week. She doesn't take dressage lessons, but a neighbor of ours will give her lessons if asked. Lily knew she was weak in dressage, so she arranged a lesson with the dressage-riding neighbor and paid for it herself. That took a big chunk of her available funds, but that's what she wanted. And they worked hard. (Wonderful neighbor!)

So, on Saturday at the horse trials, Lily was first after dressage, turning in a decent ride in a division where she was the youngest rider. (She had also made the extra effort and was the only one who was braided. Really bad braiding, however. Need to work on that.) Her score was 30.

She was riding in the Special Novice division, which was her first timed cross-country ride. Since Buddy gets yahooey and bold, her coach (new -- another story) told her to do lots of transitions from the canter to the trot during cross-country to remind Buddy that he needed to stay focused on his rider, not all the fun he was having. Because Buddy is basically a frat boy all about partying all the time. Cross country? Yahoo!

Lily learned how to work a digital watch with a timer. She wrote the time limits for cross-country in different colors on her bare arm. She wrote the possible time limits at the half-way point in more colors and in more places. She looked like a tattooed WWII sailor. So she seemed really focused on this new aspect of cross-country: the optimum time.

(Photo of walking around before time to go in starting box, click to enlarge.) She and Buddy left the starting box at a beautiful canter and put in a hunter-round-quality performance for the first part of cross-country, the part we could see across the big field leading to the woods. It was perfect. Then she disappeared into the woods. After a while, they came out again at another place. Now Buddy was faster. Buddy's testosterone or something was back (he's a gelding). The blood of his great-grandaddy Swaps, who won the Kentucky Derby and broke several speed records, was stirred up and Buddy was going. (After all, it was Kentucky Derby Saturday). Buddy wasn't wild, though. Buddy was just having fun. The good thing was that he was less likely to refuse in this state of mind. The bad thing was -- well, the bad thing was that he started bucking after an uphill jump. We watched. Lily stayed on, then pulled him to a halt. Whew! Good girl! That's one of the things that she feared would happen. It happened -- and she handled it beautifully.

They cantered on to the bank and other more challenging obstacles. They no longer looked like a hunter round, but bold eventers. Buddy even jumped things that would normally have scared him. Attaboy! Attagirl! And they headed on home but maintained control. Awesome!

All goals achieved. Everybody had fun. No stops. Bucking controlled. Great ride..... Except, the first place holder after dressage -- the one with all the times written in Sharpie marker all over her arms -- had not only put her watch on UPSIDE DOWN, but forgot to check it at the halfway or any other point. And though they were doing a beautiful job in the parts we could see, Lily decided to walk, with some trotting, on the path through the woods.

This may have been a good choice. Maybe Buddy would have been even bolder (and worse) when they came out of the woods. But it would have been nice if she'd at least checked her watch. She had all kinds of time faults, which we didn't know about because the scorer (almost all volunteers are moms and dads whose kids ride at this farm) made a mistake and posted Lily as still in first place after cross-country. Oh well.

Due to parental error (that would be me, speaking of checking your watch), Lily had to rush to show jumping. Her warm up consisted of a fast trot there, and she kept hurrying when they entered the ring. She had quite the cowboy show-jumping ride. No mistaking this for a hunter round. Buddy was bold, she was still hurrying from her rush to the ring, and at one point they were going so fast she had to pull him up before a jump and circle (he would have jumped it -- yahoo!) to get herself organized. The right decision in terms of living a long and happy life. The wrong decision if she didn't want to get faults for a refusal. Still hurrying, she almost came off on a monstrous leap Buddy made over a fan-spread jump, followed by a sharp turn. The crowd gasped. Was she coming off? No! She regained her stirrups and balance and galloped to the next hairpin turn and jump. Wheee! They may have walked through the woods, but they were putting on a show now. When they left the ring, the ringmaster said, "And that was our speed round."

Not pretty. Not the way we had walked it and planned it. That rush to the ring had lost Lily most of her IQ points and whatever recollection she had of walking the course, planning the turns and her approach speeds. But she handled it. And if she'd been given the chance to be there early enough to catch her breath and school, she probably would have ridden it more conservatively and not had to circle before a jump. So I learned something, too. (Wait by the ring because they're going faster than you think -- show jumping was in numerical order and there were no loudspeakers broadcasting the show's progress, so we were eating hot dogs at the trailer when Lily should have been warming up. Excuses, excuses. Lucky not to be disqualified, though Lily did arrive within the time limit. I called later to apologize to the organizer.)

Anyway. When the ribbons were handed out, Lily was in last place. She knew she'd lost points for the stop in show jumping. But she thought she was in first place after cross-country because that's what the posted score said. She didn't know about the monstrous time faults for her pleasant walk through the woods.

Oh well. Score poster error. Not a big deal. It's a friendly event and everybody is just doing their best.

So she went from first to last.  She lost after almost winning. But it was an absolutely fabulous day, filled with success after success after success in all the things that count the most for the future.

I asked her if she wished that she'd signed up for the division that jumped the same course but wasn't timed. "No, Mom. It's just a ribbon. If I hadn't been timed, I wouldn't know I needed to work on that."

Bless her. I'm resisting the urge to go out and buy her a big ribbon, because I think she's a winner.

But we don't measure success in ribbons, so I'll restrain myself. (Photo below from dressage warm up, click to enlarge.)

Belated Horse Trial Results

In the rush of everything, I never really did talk about Buddy's first horse trials earlier this month, other than to say that all survived.

It was actually a little better than that. I just downloaded the Christmas pictures and the horse trial pictures were in the same batch. (I didn't take many pictures because I was too busy holding my breath.)

They had a good dressage test and were in first place, in spite of some slightly less than circular circles. Here's Buddy listening to what the judge had to say afterwards.

Here's Buddy noticing the lady who feeds him, who is also holding the camera. That Buddy is my biggest fan.

Notice the blue ribbon on the boot. Very exciting.

Lily and Buddy went to that same farm last Saturday to ride with friends. Wouldn't you know it? When they were schooling in the stadium jumping ring, Buddy refused the coop and Lily fell off. So glad he waited two weeks for that little performance.

Some days he's good. Some days he's not. Timed it just right that time.

Gift Ideas for Horse Show Moms

I've been getting googled a lot for "gifts horse show moms" so I thought I'd throw out suggestions. These are quick ideas and are not ads.

• Xanax
• Case of Diet Coke with lime and brownies
• Make a "Horse Show Mom Kit" out of some kind of totebag. Inside put toilet paper, a Hershey bar, anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, Advil, band-aids, an old towel for wiping off horses and boots, sunscreen, a hat and sunglasses, and several hundred dollars
• There are some cute horse mom shirts, hats, etc. at Cafepress
• IOUs for casseroles, salads and other food to bring to her house the night she gets back from a show
• There are good horse show and horse show mom books at Amazon
• Folding chair embroidered with "Horse Show Mom" or "Saint Mom" or whatever
• New stiff broom for horse trailer
• Cowboy Magic green remover if her child has a white (I know it's called grey) pony
• Lint roller
• More money
• Foot massager thingy they're selling at Bed, Bath and Beyond

Whew! All Lived to Tell the Tale

Thanks for your good wishes about the horse trials today. It was a good day, perfect weather (might have hit the 70s!) and Buddy behaved, though he considered doing otherwise. Lily should be proud of all of her hard work and achieving her goals. (Placed well, too.) I'll write more later and maybe put up some photos, though I was too absorbed in riding Buddy from a distance and doing the Mom Worry Thing, in my head, to remember to take pictures.

We got to see her old pony, many friends and it was a great day. We got home mid-afternoon and I slept like a fool until 5:30!

I even ran into a childhood friend who lived on the same block as I did and told me the following story, which I'm not sure I remember more than a flash:

We had a pony cart. It was lightweight and probably home-made, with bicycle tires for wheels. My childhood friend told me that she hadn't been in a pony cart since the day she went riding with me, and that she'd never go again.

?????

"Remember you were driving and you took that corner too fast and we flipped the cart? We turned it right over."

This sounds traumatic enough to remember. And I almost can. I remember seeing the ground come up as we fell over. I think I remember. I didn't remember it until today , when my old friend retold the story.

I asked my father if he remembered it. He said no, but that he didn't remember a lot, and that it did sound like something I would have done.

?????

I remember many rides in the pony cart. I was less thrilled than others about riding in a pony cart. I preferred riding the pony to riding behind the pony. I didn't even know that I knew how to drive a pony cart. I guess, hearing all this, I didn't.

Horse Trials Tomorrow

Buddy has his first horse trials tomorrow. I am worried about this. I don't know if I'm worried about this in the way a mother is worried about trusting her child to a horse with his own opinions, or if I'm worried about this excessively.

What I'd like is a remote-controlled horse. One with a button I could operate if somebody Gets Too Big For His Britches on cross-country. Lily's got her confidence back and an elevator bit. I'm the one who's acting like she's riding in the Kentucky Derby tomorrow.

Did I mention that Swaps, (pictured left -- see they're the same color, both are horses and both have four legs) Buddy's great-grandfather, won the Kentucky Derby? That's the side of Buddy I would like to leave at home. Sometimes that side comes out -- you never know when, though wide open spaces, speed and fun jumps do seem to be a catalyst. I want to take the Golden Retriever side of Buddy. The one you can climb under, pile your friends on his back, go play with. The friendly, calm. LAZY horse who makes really silly faces when you massage his favorite spots on his neck, his chest and his belly. Such silly faces you're almost embarrassed for him.

Lily's had Buddy for almost two years. He was a Western pleasure horse, but he took no pleasure in it. He thinks this jumping stuff is fun. If they progress through higher levels in eventing, he'll be thrilled. I'm sure he could get to the front of the staff in no time if he ever went fox hunting. That would be his favorite thing. (That's why he's not going.)  In the past two years, he's taught Lily a lot. I think tomorrow we get to find out how much we've taught him.

Buddy is two horses. A lazy horse who needs his rider to carry a crop to keep his trot energized. And a "yahoo cowboy" who thinks life is grand and to be lived with a couple of bucks and some speed. To somebody's credit, he's got the Best Brakes Ever. They are too good for English. You ask for "whoa" and he slams on the brakes. I frankly like these brakes very much, but they aren't elegant and will just about unseat you. But -- if he's having lots of fun, he forgets about his power brakes. He's never run away or bolted (though he has spooked). He will buck after jumps and lap the other horses in flat classes. There's just some lag time between when he's asked to stop being naughty and when he stops.

The course walk is this afternoon. That means Lily has to miss today's practice for the school's orchestra concert next week -- it's a part of her grade (I wrote an excuse). She plays the violin, more or less. It was that or P.E.  Another story for another day.

Jane's going to walk the course with us this afternoon. Jane's got nerve problems that cause pain in her legs, so I really appreciate her doing this. Lily's already very confident about tomorrow. I just need to stay out of her way. Jane's really good at managing both of us.

If Lily ever makes it to the Olympics (her dream, of course, and I hope she does make it), I hope I can watch without expiring from the stress. I wonder how many calories you burn watching your child, jumping every jump, riding ever step with her?

Lily is intending to win, of course. She might win something. She might not. I've talked to her at length about how we're going to judge the success of the day. It's not about ribbons. It's about accomplishing goals. Keeping him under control. No refusals. Doing her best. Finding out what she's got so she'll know what to work on for the next phase.

Isn't it funny, but somehow a ribbon counts more than real accomplishment?  She's on board with me on this, but everybody knows that what a 12-year-old wants is not abstract evaluation, but a ribbon.

Paul will be there, of course. He'll ask me how she's doing, since he's not a horse person (other than a horse-food buyer). I hope my answer is "Absolutely fantastic!"

That won't mean she's winning. It means something even better -- and it will mean that I'll begin to breathe normally at some point during the day.

Good Thing It's a Small World

If you're a regular, you've read how much we've been preparing for a horse trials this coming weekend -- Buddy's first trials.

I sent in my check, Lily's entry and Buddy's Coggins in late October. I've been wondering why the check hasn't been cashed.

I got a call from organizer yesterday. She said that one of her students, a good friend of Lily's, keeps saying that Lily is coming to the trials and the friend can't be a volunteer because she's helping Lily. But the organizer hasn't received our entry so she was "just checking."

Thank goodness for living in a small world where people talk. We got it straightened out over the phone and Lily is officially entered, though I need to bring the paperwork and check with me for our course walk on Friday.

If we had shown up all prepared and ready to go only to find that Lily wasn't entered, that would have been a problem.

Sometimes it's a good thing that people talk and it's a small world.

Not My Job

Lily's still trying to figure out how to keep Buddy clean for the horse trials this coming Saturday. Thanks to all of you for your good suggestions and commiseration.

Horses are pigs trapped in horse skins. (I think it was photogchic who said that -- thanks!)

I ordered a book from Amazon in a weak moment (I have lots of those, usually involving chocolate) and it came in last week. It's The Horse Show Mom's Survival Guide by Susan Daniels. Of course Lily picked it up, noticed the pictures of the horse show mom stepping and fetching and grooming and serving. Lily looked at me and you could see the lightbulb go off. "Hey, Mom! You're supposed to be doing all that stuff at horse shows that I've been doing."

In your dreams.

You see, I'm the kind of horse show mom who makes the kid do the work. Oh, not all the work. If the horse is acting up (and it's legal to do so), I'll get on and have some words with him. I'll lead the horse around the grounds if he's excited and has grown a hand or two taller. I'll help get tacked up, will pin on her number and will wipe the dust off of her boots (and I've been known to carry water), but, just like I've already passed seventh-grade math and don't need to do seventh-grade math homework, I don't need any practice at getting a horse ready for a show -- or doing the work when I get there. (Though I will be responsible for food and drinks -- Lily has a nut allergy so we bring our own vittles.) And I will serve as coach, cheerleader, paparazzi, chauffeur  and banker. That seems like enough without  adding "groom" to my job description.

There's a child we sometimes show with whose mother does it all. And the child, who is old enough to tend to herself and her horse, fusses at the mother for not doing it right. The mother frets because the child isn't going to be ready for the class on time, the child isn't dressed, the horse isn't tacked up. The child talks back. It's an ugly sight. It's really hard not to slap both of them, but I might have to stand in line.

Back to the book. It's actually filled with lots of useful advice and information, including how to have tactful conversations with your trainer and the issue of some people having more expensive horses -- and some people having less.

I haven't checked to see if there's a chapter on worry. If there's not, I can write that. It's hard to put your child on a large, powerful animal with a brain the size of a cat's, and let go. If a horse show mom's job description included "horse mind control," I'd be all over that.

How Am I Supposed to Keep "Muddy" Clean?

Mom said that I could write a post. And I know that she has written a post about this before, but SHE isn't the one who has to deal with it...

Buddy likes to roll. Especially when he is clean. Ugh. I know that I'm not the only person who has this problem, but I still find him frustrating...
Yeah, yeah, I know that he enjoys rolling and getting the itchy spots, and that I am a terrible person for trying to stop him. But would he mind not transforming from his normal chestnut color to a dirty grayish-brown color? And after I have spent 2 or more hours grooming him for a show?

I have an event next week. Buddy has to be braided, sponge-bathed, show sheened, and combed. I just spent 70 dollars (that I have saved up since the summer) on a blanket liner that I am going to use for shows only. His Sleazy Hood will cover his neck and hopefully keep the braids in overnight.

Lucy isn't going anywhere, and she stays clean. This is the one time where I wish Lucy would influence "Muddy".
I am trying to bribe him to stay clean, or at least to be partially chestnut when I go to get him the morning of the show.   

-Lilly

Things I Am Thankful for -- I Think

I have so much to be thankful for that I don't know where to start. A husband who's supportive and encouraging of our horse habit, a daughter who'd rather be at the barn than at the mall and two great horses who are mostly willing and certainly able.

I also have a truck and trailer. Now, you will not envy me on this. Even if you don't have a truck and trailer, you will not envy me. But that truck and trailer mean that we can go to nearby farms. And that makes all the difference.

"Ben," the truck (he came named -- "Ben" for Sub-ur-BEN) can qualify for S.C. antique license plates next year. Or maybe he's already qualified. The people who had him loved him and took excellent care of him. They had a book where they kept track of every tank of gas he ever drank and every repair ever made. The lady drew a sad face with tears and wrote "Goodbye Ben, We Love You!" on the last page of this book before selling him to us. His interior was re-done before we got him. (After a while you get used to calling your truck a "him.") He does have a drinking problem, though. Heaven help us. I might sometimes get over 60 mpg on my Prius, but I more than make up for it with Ben.

The trailer I own with my niece. It needs re-painting. I touched up the rusting spots with Rustoleum, which makes it look even worse. One day we will paint it. Surely we will.

Anyway, Ben has lots of personality and Tim, my mechanic, says, "That's a great truck." It is. It's even kind of fun to drive. No problem finding it in a parking lot, either.

But I have to say when I pull up besides people's fancy trucks and SUVs and trailers with dressing rooms and awnings and potted flowers, I do feel like country come to town. Actually, there's another term I'd use but I won't.

Other people's trucks and trailers might be painted to match. Ben and my trailer have rust spots to match.

We're lucky to have nice horses, tack, boots and lessons. I like to think of it that we're just being environmentally friendly by using a truck and trailer others would have passed on.... The most environmentally friendly thing you can do is to use things as long as possible, right? No landfill and all that? (There is Ben's drinking problem, but I can't help that.) I could have bought something other than the Prius that would pull a trailer, but I decided on the Prius because I don't pull the trailer but once a week, but I drive the Prius everywhere every day.

Anyway. Ben's got a lot of personality for a truck. He came with lots of stickers on him and a front license plate that says "U.S. Army Retired." I left everything as it was. The stickers might be holding him together! I'm really glad the people weren't NASCAR fans or I'm sure he'd have an "8" and a "3" on him. For some reason, the sticker that said, "My daughter is in the U.S. Navy" just drove Lily over the edge, so I let her cover that sticker and another one. I am not one to put  bumper stickers on cars (my Prius has none), but if somebody else has started it, well.... See for yourself.

I live in fear that Ben is going to leave us on the side of the road one day. I guess when that happens we'll unload the horses and ride on home.

Ben, you're an old, old man, but I'm still thankful to have you, even if I am afraid to drive you very far.

How to Teach a Child a Dressage Test

It's hard to get a child excited about a dressage test. Or about dressage at all when there are other things, such as jumping, that she could be doing instead of dressage.

For Lily's first horse trials (I think the coming one will be her third) I really had trouble getting her attention about the importance of dressage, let alone the concepts involved. Now that Lily is older and understands that her place in dressage will determine where she stands in the competition, she's practicing her test every night. Thank goodness I'm not a good housekeeper or I might have thrown away the things essential for this practice.

If you want to teach your child a dressage test, I suggest you do it in three stages.

1. Indoors using a Breyer horse and a shoe-box lid;
2. Outdoors doing the test on her own two feet while you judge; and,
3. Finally, on horseback.

Here's what you need for part one:

Take a shoe-box lid, cut out an entrance at "A" and use a marker to put in the other letters. Here's an aerial view of our shoe-box dressage ring.

Then, get a noted Breyer stablemates "dressage horse" (we're using Seabiscuit because we couldn't find Pumpkin -- they're not in frame and don't bend in the corners but Buddy probably isn't going to either) and start riding the test.
Here's Seabiscuit from an aerial view and entering at "A."

For the next step Lily does the test on foot in the pasture, where we've set up ceramic tile blocks (because we had some) that we've painted the dressage letters on. Unfortunately, we don't have any kind of arena wall. Paul got smart and embedded small concrete blobs in the ground at the four corners of the arena (small size -- no room) so that we don't have to re-measure every time.

We have used spray paint (the kind made for marking lines on the ground) to mark the arena boundaries in the past, but have gotten either too cheap or too lazy.

It's tempting to throw the shoe-box lid away after it's all over, but keep it. It's a handy thing. And Seabiscuit's getting pretty good at dressage, too.