smellshorsey

Am I the Only One Who's Never Heard of a "Numnah"?

We don't normally watch the National Spelling Bee, but we caught a few minutes of it last night and I'm glad to say we caught this very, very funny moment when one boy was asked to spell "numnah," which is a pad used between the saddle and the horse. I have never heard of a numnah, but after watching this, I won't forget it. (We use a variety of pads, but no numnahs.)

Watch this video -- precious!

Some People are Even Stupider than Me

And yes, I know that should be, "some people are even stupider than I." But when you're talking about stupid, good grammar is optional.

Okay, first you had me with my horse tangled up in the hay net in the trailer, even though I knew better. Then you had the other people at the horse show.

Unbelievable as it may be, there are people even stupider than I am. I was walking around the show grounds when I saw two loose horses. Not what you need at a show with so many children, green horses and wild riders. So I yelled to the announcer's booth that there were two loose horses, which when I pointed, they could clearly see. They stopped the show temporarily and announced that there were two loose horses.

Two women at the concession stand yelled out, "They're not loose. They're grazing."

Yes, they had brought their horses to the show and turned them loose, like dogs, to roam around and graze at will. I thought I'd seen everything.

Maybe I'm doing things wrong. Fencing is expensive and hard to keep up. Maybe I should just turn my horses loose. If anybody gets upset, I'll explain with a smile, "No, Buddy isn't eating your rosebushes, Mrs. Campbell. He's just grazing."

The two women did wander over to their horses and catch them. The horses were a bit underweight and could have stood some more grazing time, and the women could have stood a little more time away from the concession stand. They put lunge lines on their horses, and more or less tied them out from their trailers.

Maybe I should have given them my hay net while they were at it.

I Can't Haz a Watermelon!

This is completely self-indulgent. Buddy likes watermelon more than Lucy, but she's the Boss Lady. Notice how he keeps coming back to me to fix this problem on the playground. And of course, I do.

If you're not a LOLcat fan, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't help myself.

Our New Trailer Meets Our WMD

I love our new trailer. So does Paul, my husband. But as far as our new trailer is concerned, he's a WMD.

Within the first 24 hours he managed to pop a window out and dent the front. Boy was he mad. He was convinced that I did it because he couldn't possibly have done it, but I assured him that there were no overhanging things on the Interstate, and the horse couldn't very well break out the front window when there is a small tackroom between the horse compartment and the trailer front.

I solved the mystery when I took the trailer to get repaired. After parking the trailer at the dealer's, I opened the Yukon hatchback door. Guess what? The corner of the door was crushed in. Turns out Paul had opened the back of the Yukon so he could see better when he parked the trailer. The corner of the hatch lid/door poked the trailer window out -- and dented the front. The trailer dealer thought it was very funny -- especially in light of the fact that Paul had negotiated a lower trailer price and here the dealer was going to get that money back in repairs.

So then Paul took the trailer the next weekend, a blustery, windy day. He left the trailer door open while he was working (landscaping his office, I think.) The wind blew the steel trailer loading door open with such force that it temporarily bent around the door stop and smashed a rear light. It seems impossible when you open and shut the door -- there's a dent where the door bent that one time, but the door sprung back into shape. And it's not going anywhere near that trailer light under normal conditions.

If Paul hadn't been the one to buy the trailer, I might not let him use it, and I still might revoke his privileges, because the NEXT time he used it (third time, right?) he scraped up the paint in several places, letting metal things dangle against the paint on the inside, scraping the fenders by driving through small openings, and brushing up under a tree and scratching the top.

The trailer can withstand all the abuse the horses throw at it. But not my husband. I told him he should think about using the old trailer from now on.

Getting Stuck

 I haven't been posting because I've been stuck. No, not like the horse in this picture, though this is exactly how I feel. (Photo from here.)

Let me first explain what "stuck" is. It's not getting your head stuck in a chair, no matter how coy and attention getting that might be.

Stuck is much less dramatic and possibly even less useful. A local riding school has some very reliable school horses. They can be relied upon to do what you ask, or perhaps not. But they won't do anything stupid or dangerous.

Sometimes, for no apparent reason, they get stuck. Maybe they will have been standing in a group while their riders jump individually, or while their riders were getting instruction on what to do next. At any rate, when the group of horses moves off, one (or more) might decide not to. Their riders will flail away with their legs banging the horses' sides in an effort to move the horse forward, but the school horse (or horses) don't budge. They are stuck.

You've seen it. You may have experienced it. The horse is stuck, all four feet planted on the ground. It's not going anywhere. It is stuck.

The instructor has to intervene. She pulls them forward. They come unstuck and it's like it never happened. "Sometimes they just get stuck," she tells the rider.

I've got something that I just have to write and don't want to. It's not hard, but there's a lot of it. I've done all the pre-work, the research and interviews. And try as I might, I can't make myself move forward. I am as stuck as one of those school horses, and there is no one but me to get me unstuck. I'm not doing a good job of urging me forward, but I am doing a good job of at least limiting fun distractions, like blogging.

I came a little unstuck this morning, since the deadline was last week (oops!). I'm a third of the way through. So long as I don't get stuck again (this is not writer's block -- this is an inner protest) I should be finished by Wednesday.

And that will unstick the rest of my life.

I need to post about riding horses in the ocean in the Bahamas last month. I need to blog about the Pony Club Quiz Rally, and especially tell you about the shoe table. But for now, I just need to stay unstuck. Be back soon.

Too Cold to Ride

I know that I'm going to provoke a hail of snowballs for this post, but it's too cold to ride. It's almost too cold to feed the horses, but I know that Buddy would come inside and get me so I put on everything I own and go feed him and Lucy.

We're having to keep the beet pulp and alfalfa cubes inside the house to soak because they freeze at the barn. The horses have on every blanket they own. Tonight may be a record cold temperature. I've got all the faucets dripping and the pets with paws inside. (Pets with hooves, so sorry, you're not housebroken.)

Yes, yes, I'm in S.C. and we've had such a mild winter that I haven't taken my T-shirts and lightweight pants out of the closet (or found my long underwear). But that changed this week. And I don't like it.

In this kind of weather, I don't go to horse events. Usually I would just not ride, stay home, feel sorry for the folks who sent in their $185 entry fees and $165 stabling fees to whatever event will go on no matter what so they'll go to it no matter what. Usually I would be smug, warm and just a little bit grouchy about having to lever the layer of ice off of the water trough.

But not this weekend. Sunday is Rating Day for Pony Club, and since there won't be another rating day (probably) until after the rally season is over, we are going. Lily was rated a couple of years ago and very much needs to be re-rated if she's going to participate in Pony Club.

But it's too cold! Lily's never owned long underwear, so we went to the store today to get her some. Turns out there's a real shortage of them -- so many people are going to the Obama inauguration that they've cleaned out the department stores of all long underwear. Fortunately, we found a small set for Lily. She would be mortified if anyone knew she was wearing something called "CuddleDudds." And she's refusing to wear a warm hat because ... well, she's 13 and knows everything.

And I'm a wimp about cold weather. Saturday night it's supposed to be 8 degrees, then get up to 50 before it starts to snow or rain or sleet or whatever. And then freeze again.

To you folks out there who are really having cold weather, I'm so sorry. The thing is, at least you know what you're doing. I've got a 13 year old who has no use for a hat. When there's a chance of snow here, everyone goes to the grocery store and empties the shelves of bread and milk. That's all we know how to do.

Why bread and milk? I have no idea. When my power goes off from the snow taking down the power lines, the last thing I want is bread and milk. But that's what you buy, so I guess I'll be going out in the cold tomorrow to get my bread and milk.

I already loaded up on the horse feed, alfalfa cubes and beet pulp. It's still in the car. Buddy would be glad to know where my priorities lie.

Stay warm!

Looking at Horse Pr0n Again

My computer keeps crashing and I have so much to do but somehow I got distracted a little while ago (when I got the computer working again) so what do I do? Go look at horse Pr0n.

I've got a couple of questions that sound like they're mean but they're not. There are a gazillion "retired" racehorses offered on the Internet. Taking photos of horses is difficult, but it would probably help the horse get adopted/purchased quicker if the photo didn't have the horse standing there with every muscle in his body tensed, head as high as it will go, and the whites of the eyes showing. The horse looks a nanosecond from a bolt. Yes, the ears are forward, but you don't ride on the ears. I don't care if the description says that the horse is quiet and gentle. The horse looks like this is the first time he has ever stood still in his life.

Then there are the nutty but hopelessly optimistic descriptions. I was flabbergasted to read this description (below) of a 19-year-old horse with screws in his ankle who was raced for 13 years. They suggest that he probably has a career ahead of him as a barrel racer or an endurance horse. I'd say he had a career BEHIND him as an endurance horse. Poor fellow. Handsome, too.

15.2+ hands, 19 years old.        Here's a campaigner who had a LONG career and is now in need of a new        home. This guy raced until he was 13; he's spent the last few years just        hanging out on the farm. Owner says this guy has tons of energy - and,        quite obviously, a LOT of longevity! Sounds like a great endurance        prospect here. Owner also says he is very agile and handy and thinks this        guy would make a great barrel horse as well. He had some type of rear        ankle injury as a two year old and the ankle does have screws in it, but        we're told the horse has never taken a bad step on it and is completely        sound. $1,000 Nego.

Hot Air Balloons and Horses

They're having a hot air balloon and equestrian festival in Aiken, S.C. What will be next? Plastic grocery bags and horses festival?

My horses would think that hot air balloons were Giant Breathing Plastic Grocery Bags of Death. We would find out just exactly how fast and how far our horses could go. We'd no doubt beat the balloons to their destination.

And they've got fireworks, too! Yahoo!

Look at a portion of the schedule, below. Can you imagine warming up for dressage while the balloons are taking off?

Festivities begin on Friday September 19th with barrel racing at 4:00 PM, jumping exhibition at 5:00 PM, Kids Balloon run at 6:00 PM, Special Shape balloons and tether balloon rides at 7:00 PM, Fireworks display at 8:00 PM.

On Saturday September 20th the balloons will take off at 6:30 AM, dressage exhibition at 7:30 AM, hunting exhibition at 9:00 AM.

But I just might go watch the goings on. Perverse, I know. Beyond the disconnect between horse behavior and hot air balloons, it sounds like fun. Here's the link.

I Feel Like I Should Say Something Profound

It's been so long since I've posted regularly (or even been on the Internet except for research for work projects) that I feel like I can't post unless I say something profound.

I've got nothing profound to say.

Buddy is over his pneumonia. Lily is having a wonderful time with her working student job and wants to compete Lucy, Buddy and our neighbor's horse at a local event in December. She can't watch much of the Olympics before she has to rush outside and start practicing.

I never finished posting about the Breyer horse, horse camp and some horse stuff in the news.

But I've made my confession. I've got nothing profound to say. School starts on Thursday. I hope to get back into routine then.

Though I do love the non-routine-ness of our summer routine.

Happy Summer, if you're in the Northern Hemisphere, and if you're in the Southern Hemisphere, know that we're sending summer your way ... with many regrets to see it go.

Manure Thieves Welcome

the smoke bothers me so we don't burn our manure pile. It grows and grows until a composting friend or relative comes to get it (and they are always so excited). But after a while, even your friends and relatives don't want your manure anymore.

So, when I read that there were manure thieves on the loose, I was excited. I thought I might put out a sign, "Manure Thieves Welcome. Steal All You Want." But it turns out they're in Germany.

Here's the story, excerpted from Fox News. There were no pictures, which I guess is a blessing:

BERLIN, Germany —  A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said on Friday.

   

Two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen on Wednesday evening and started to fill the stockings with manure.

 

"One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck," said a spokesman for local police. "The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear."

 

Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs," but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2.

 

"The women can get their clothes back from the local police station — unwashed," the spokesman added.